It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
