i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize