Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
