I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
