I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
