I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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