Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
