I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
false alarm, still single
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