You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize