Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
