sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
