you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
50% drunk capacity currently
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
