Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
