there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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