I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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