I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
