She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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