You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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