Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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