I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
