Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
