Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
