a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My vagina is very pro this idea
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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