Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
