Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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