Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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