Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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