My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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