Kiss
Puke
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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