Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
