Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
