The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hippo gnu deer
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
