We won't sleep together?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
