Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
