does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize