we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
