He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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