her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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