I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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