lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
