thus making me awesome and them whores
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
