I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
