Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I love you. Go after that dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
