don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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