May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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