the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you will always have a special place in my vag
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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