how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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