I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize