His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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