Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
