Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
