there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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