That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
