Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
