He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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