I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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