Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
