Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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