You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize