have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
