is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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