i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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