bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
