Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
